PSB Album "Replacements"
It's not at all unusual—in fact, it's fairly commonplace—to hear Pet Shop Boys fans say how a particular song on a particular album should have been left off and replaced with a certain single b-side, which they consider a much better song, from that same period of their career. I've certainly thought that and—admit it—you've probably done it, too. Of course, the Boys themselves are the final and, by all rights, the "best" arbiters of which songs should and shouldn't go on their albums. Then again, there have been occasions when Neil and/or Chris themselves have expressed misgivings in hindsight, suggesting that the inclusion of a certain song on an album or the exclusion of another one had been a mistake. So I take that as permission, so to speak, to play a rather presumptuous little game.
Through the years I've run polls in which I've asked my website visitors to rate the Pet Shop Boys' songs, usually on an album-by-album or "period" basis. Using the average ratings from those polls, I'm going to consider "replacing" the lowest-rated song on each PSB studio album with the highest-rated b-side associated with that album. Then I'll offer my personal assessment as to whether it's an improvement. That is, would it have been a better album if that substitution had actually occurred? Yes, it's just my opinion, so take it for what it's worth—which, when you get right down to it, isn't very much. But I'm doing it anyway.
Incidentally, these "replacements" do not necessarily mean that the "new" song in question would appear in the same position on the album as the song it's replacing. The track order might have turned out different.
The average rating for each song under consideration appears in parentheses. In chronological order, here we go:
- Please – Replace "Opportunities (Reprise)" (4.867) with "Paninaro" (7.688, b-side of "Suburbia")?
"Opportunities (Reprise)" isn't really a "song," is it? For that matter, "Paninaro" isn't really much of a song, but it is a song. And it's a pretty popular one, too, which the Pet Shop Boys have played often in their concerts. There's no contest. Replacing "Opportunities (Reprise)" with "Paninaro" would have made an already strikingly strong debut album even stronger.
Final assessment: Yes, replace it. - Actually – Replace "Hit Music" (4.732) with "A New Life"
(6.614, b-side of "What Have I Done to Deserve This?")?
Actually is such a product of its time—an archetypal album of the Thatcher Era in Britain, packed with social commentary, though sometimes subtle in nature—that making any change to it seems blasphemous. While fandom tends to regard "Hit Music" as the album's weakest track, it nevertheless fits the album extremely well. Can you truly say the same about "A New Life"? I couldn't. It's a great song, but "Hit Music" is far more of a piece with Actually than "A New Life" could ever hope to be.
Final assessment: No, don't replace it.
- Introspective – Replace "I Want a Dog" (6.086) with "Your Funny Uncle"
(7.865, b-side of "It's Alright")?
I'm cheating on this one. To be honest, in my Rating Project poll for Introspective, the "song" that received the lowest average rating was "In My House" (5.593). But that was part of a medley with "Always on My Mind," and in hindsight I believe it was a mistake on my part to separate the two for the purposes of the ratings. So I'm listing the second-lowest-rated song instead, "I Want a Dog." But it really doesn't make any difference. As great a song as "Your Funny Uncle" is—and it is a great song, fully deserving the very high rating my fellow fans gave it—it hardly fits the disco-ish Introspective with its lengthy dance mixes. It just doesn't belong there. And I would've made exactly the same decision if it were up against "In My House."
Final assessment: No, don't replace it.
- Behaviour – Replace "To Face the Truth" (6.453) with "Miserablism"
(7.904, b-side of "Was It Worth It?" but recorded during the Behaviour sessions)?
If the previous replacement suggested for Actually sounds blasphemous, this one may be downright heretical. Behaviour is now widely viewed by fans and critics alike as one of the Pet Shop Boys' greatest albums, if not the greatest. But that hasn't always been the case. Certain critics at the time as well as many fans were taken aback at the album's shortage of uptempo, "dancey" tracks compared to the albums that came before. It wasn't what they were expecting from the Boys. During the making of the album, co-producer Harold Faltermeyer lobbied for the inclusion of "Miserablism," and it indeed almost made the cut. In comparison with "To Face the Truth," which melds superbly well with the general sound and mood of Behaviour—to be sure, a far more introspective album than Introspective—"Miserablism" is decidedly uptempo. But its lyrics remain somewhat in the reflective, almost philosophical mode of the album overall. It's not inconceivable that Behaviour would've been a commercially more successful album with "Miserablism" instead of "To Face the Truth"—yet without seriously compromising the album's theme, as it were. It's a close call.
Final assesment (with some hesitation and a big gulp): Yes, replace it.
- Very – Replace "One and One Make Five" (5.761) with "Shameless"
(8.286, b-side of "Go West")?
Neil himself has suggested that "Shameless" might well have gone onto Very and, in fact, would probably have made an excellent single. But it seems to me that it would have been a case of too much of a good thing. If nothing else, "Shameless" bears a very strong stylistic similarity to "Go West," the single for which it served as the flipside. In my opinion, the two songs would've essentially worked against each other on the album, rendering each other redundant. To put it another way, they would've "clashed." Unlike some of the preceding cases, where the alternative doesn't fit the album, this is a situation where it may have fit a little too well. What it boils down to is that "One and One Make Five" is all but irrelevant to the discussion. The full weight of the matter falls upon "Shameless."
Final assessment: No, don't replace it.
- Bilingual – Replace "Electricity" (5.064) with "Delusions of Grandeur" (7.750, b-side of "A Red Letter Day")?
This may prove my most "controversial" assessment. You see, I suspect I'm very much in the minority of fans in that I really like "Electricity," bitter drag queen persona and all. It's unique in the PSB canon; no other song is quite like it. By the same token, "Delusions of Grandeur," as marvelous as it is—and I do think it's marvelous—is, especially in its chorus, very much in the Pet Shop Boys' patented galloping anthem mode that they perfected in "Go West" and have repeatedly employed in the years since, including in another Bilingual track, "A Red Letter Day." It's not unique at all. While this replacement may have made Bilingual a more "fan-pleasing" album, I just can't say it would've been a better album.
Final assessment: No, don't replace it.
- Nightlife – Replace "The Only One" (5.066) with "The Ghost of Myself" (6.477, b-side of "New York City Boy")?
"The Only One" hardly ranks among my favorite PSB songs. I mean, I certainly don't dislike it, but I just don't think it's particulary memorable, an opinion that its average rating here appears to confirm. Frankly, I think "The Ghost of Myself" is the better song. But here's the rub: its obvious indebtedness to Britney Spears's massive debut hit "… Baby One More Time," which Neil and Chris have themselves acknowledged, works against it as an album track. Its later reappearance on Format notwithstanding, it deserved its burial as a b-side.
Final assessment: No, don't replace it.
- Release – Replace "Love Is a Catastrophe" (5.463) with "Always" (7.677, b-side of "Home and Dry")?
I make no secret of the fact that, in spite of its profound personal meaning and importance to Neil, "Love Is a Catastrophe" is one of the very few PSB songs that I actively dislike—again an assessment that many fans seem to share, thus resulting in its low rating in my poll. "Always" would fit quite nicely on Release in its place. It indeed sounds like it belongs on that album. That being said, I've long felt that an even better addition to Release would have been "I Didn't Get Where I Am Today" (the b-side of "Flamboyant" but recorded during the Release sessions), which adheres to the album's sonic textures while providing a welcome uptempo concluding relief from its overwhelmingly somber mood. But "Always" received a higher rating from my site visitors than "I Didn't Get Where I Am Today" (7.185), and I'm sticking with my rules. So "Always" it is.
Final assessment (with my aforementioned personal regret): Yes, replace it.
- Fundamental – Replace "God Willing" (5.134) with "The Resurrectionist"
(7.436, b-side of "I'm with Stupid")?
Although it's much closer to being a "song" than "Opportunities (Reprise)" was, "God Willing" is basically an instrumental mood piece. A very good instrumental mood piece, to be sure. But "The Resurrectionist" is a flat-out, drop-dead terrific song (puns intended). If "God Willing" had been more decidedly linked to the album's next track, "Luna Park," perhaps even without any break between them whatsoever, sacrificing it would've been more difficult. As it is, however, "The Resurrectionist" might have been better for the album overall. I should note, by the way, that the bonus Fundamentalism track "Fugitive" polled even higher (7.984) than "The Resurrectionist," but since it wasn't a b-side, it's disqualified.
Final assessment: Yes, replace it.
- Yes – Replace "Legacy" (5.533) with "After the Event" (7.398, b-side of "Did You See Me Coming?")?
"Legacy" is one of the most curious songs the Boys have ever recorded. Its sheer curiousness no doubt accounts for its low rating among fans. "After the Event," by contrast, is a much more conventional PSB track, yet not without its own distinctive appeal. It would have fit quite nicely onto Yes, arguably moreso than "Legacy." While the uniqueness of "Legacy" works in its favor, this is a case where the song may be (if you will excuse my grammatical/syntactic faux pas of qualifying an absolute) just a little too unique. Oh, and without "Legacy" Yes could likely have been released in China intact, not that that matters much to me.
Final assessment: Yes, replace it.
- Elysium – Replace "Hold On" (4.777) with "A Certain Je Ne Sais Quoi" (7.221, b-side of "Winner")?
What I said about "Legacy" goes for "Hold On," too. Chris himself seems particularly proud of this song, and rightly so: adapting Handel is no mean feat. But the song's stridency, combined with those quasi-Broadway guest singers (are there any other vocals that sound more out of place in a PSB track?), has proven a huge turn-off for many fans. As for "A Certain Je Ne Sais Quoi," its upbeat, rocking style would have provided a much-needed shot of adrenaline to Elysium, which left many critics (and fans) feeling that our musical heroes had entered musical middle age. This is one of the easier calls.
Final assessment: Yes, replace it.
- Electric – Replace "Shouting in the Evening" (5.711) with "No More Ballads"
(5.663, b-side of "Thursday")?
If Elysium needed a shot of adrenaline, that's the last thing Electric required. So it comes down to this: would the album have benefitted from the more downbeat contrast that "No More Ballads" would have provided, or would it have interfered with the album's mood and concept? While I do believe that, in a vacuum, "No More Ballads" may be the better song overall, is it the better song in the context of Electric? I think not. Besides, its average rating isn't even as high as that of the song it would have replaced. Unlike in most other "PSB eras"—especially from Introspective all the way through Bilingual—when the Pet Shop Boys' b-sides were, with few exceptions, simply outstanding, fans have judged the b-sides of the "Electric era" to be rather weak.
Final assessment: No, don't replace it.
- Super – Replace "Pazzo!" (4.698) with "In Bits" (6.081, b-side of "The Pop Kids")?
Let's face it: "Pazzo!" is a stupid song. But it's stupid in a great way. It's so stupid that it's almost brilliant. And, no, it's not even much of a song (fitting in the "Paninaro" mold in that manner, but even less so). By contrast, "In Bits" is indisputably more of a song. But it's a repetitive, comparatively forgettable song by PSB's high standards. If you ask me, memorably stupid is vastly preferable to comparatively forgettable.
Final assessment: No, don't replace it.
- Hotspot – Replace "Wedding in Berlin" (4.447) with "Decide"
(7.776, b-side of "Burning the Heather")?
The final track on Hotspot had "b-side" written all over it, yet the Boys opted to include it on the album. "Decide" was also in the b-side mold, but its greater depth and somewhat epic feel contrasts sharply with the lightweight frivolity of a song that Chris and Neil wrote for their friends' wedding. And never count out a song with a lead vocal by Chris. The fact that they're so rare makes the fans treasure them all the more.
Final assessment: Yes, replace it.
So there we have it. Out of 14 studio albums thus far, 7 of them get "replacements" and 7 don't. I couldn't have planned it better myself. 
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